Hi my friends! I hope you all had great Thanksgivingses. I just got back from gardening. My family recently got a plot in a community garden and we had to go dig up all these weeds. Is it normal to almost pull your back out when you’re only sixteen? I’m asking for a friend. Anyway, last night I gave you a list of all the sneaky/fabulous things I was planning to do when I got the chance. Welp, today is black Friday and you know what that means, right? Two for ones! One for ones! Three for ones! So here I am, Broadway Lil, writing to you twice in one week. I know.
The Holidays and What it Means for Theater Geeks
By: Lil Mottern
The holidays, let’s admit it, are the most wonderful time of the year. I mean, come one, most of that Christmas music sounds like it’s straight out of a Broadway musical. And the clothes you get to wear. Or the clothes you get to wear if you live in a NICE CLIMATE LIKE NEW YORK CITY! Whatever. I’m rocking that sweater dress. Anyway, when you’re a theater geek you have to celebrate the holidays like a theater geek. You first of all really need to go see a production of “A Christmas Carol”. I am almost one hundred percent positive there is one somewhere near you. A lot of theater groups do that show every year as a tradition. I was in it once, to be quite honest, and I kind of rocked.
I played one of the little sprites that lived in the clock that would toll throughout the show as a sort of premonition to Scrooge’s agony. It also tolled after his agony but whatever. I’m keeping that in there.
As a little sprite I would sing with my other sprites in a high creepy voice about what was to befall Ebenezer. It was just my normal voice but it was high and creepy. I also ate a lot of goldfish backstage while sitting underneath the sink they had in the dressing-room. Sometimes the sink dripped on my head but I was fine with that. Also, I need to stop reminesing about my weird experiences in the theater.
Anyway, if you go see a production of “A Christmas Carol” you will be starting your holiday journey the right way. Then, whoever you are, wherever you are, you need to buy a sweater. If it says something theatery on the front, even better, but just buy a sweater. If you already have enough sweaters, buy one. If you live in Hawaii, buy one. You might not be aware of this, but sweaters make the world go ‘round. I personally own too many sweaters for my own good but I still bought a new one the other day. I bought it from a dimly-lit thrift store on Hollywood Boulevard. I tried it on in a changing room made out of a curtain. No one can question my sweater martyrdom.
Anyway, after you buy the sweater you might want to drive through your neighborhood and look at Christmas lights while listening to Leslie Odom Jr.’s new holiday album. If you don’t have a car, well, I get it, I get it. It’s hard, right? Just wanting to drive somewhere but not being able to-
I can’t drive.
Anyway, if you don’t have a car, just walk through your neighborhood and if you can’t do that for various possible reasons, then I recommend listening to Leslie Odom Jr.’s holiday album whilst sitting on your couch, staring into the hypnotic flames of the fake fireplace you bought on DVD the other day. After-which you should play the soundtrack from Hairspray and dance around your living room.
Because you’re preparing for Hairspray LIVE, that’s why.
My friends, I hope you are having an amazing holiday season so far. In the words of my favorite Christmas movie evar, “we elves like to stick to the four main food groups, candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.” In other words, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, PEOPLE!