Recently I was singing with my choir whom I love very dearly and I decided that I will explain to everyone my perception of the differences between Sopranos, Altos, Tenors, and Basses.
Sopranos take care of each other and really stick together. They seem really sweet but let me just say, we, er, THEY have to make the whole entire song sound GOOD and they sometimes have to sing really high notes. Like ABOVE the staff.
Yeah, not even kidding, Altos.
They talk about recitals and ask each other questions and always listen very supportively.
They also are health conscious and eat hummus.
Altos, I’ve noticed, are cool.
Let me explain.
Altos have a very dry sense of humor and they are also sarcastic and eat things that are not always healthy but they can get away with this because they are Altos. This could be perceived as cool.
I think this coolness comes from the fact that they sing below the sopranos who get the melody a lot, and so are the underdogs. Underdogs tend to be cooler and hipper.
I actually think Altos laugh under their breath at the adorable (smart, radical, stylish,) sopranos who sing so high and sometimes don’t even have to look at the music because they get the melody (not like I ever do this, ho, ho) and they mask this laughter in their loud and sarcastically witty humor. Which I appreciate. The laughter. I appreciate it.
Tenors are show-offs. We all know this. They are officially in competition with the Sopranos who are so sweet and kind (and super badass, yo) and who sing so unintentionally loudly. The Tenors therefore have to sing, sing, sing. And they do this without hesitation. Like, without. Like, srsly.
If you ever listen to the bass line, without any other parts, you might laugh discreetly.
Basses, I love you and I know everything would, like, fail without you, but the line you sing could be perceived as laugh inducing at times.
Because of this, though, Basses have kind of an accepting nature.
They’re like, yes we have to sing super low and on only one note for, like, fifty measures or something, but we’re going to remember that even though this could be perceived as being annoying or whatever and even though everyone’s listening to the Sopranos and not us, without our coolness the whole thing would fall flat.
Also, something I’ve noticed is that Basses are, like, vegans and they are always showing each other YouTube videos when we’re all on break.
I think that all the parts are super cool, though. Really. Even if the sopranos are really the stars. Um, just saying.